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November 09 2017




My hobbies include

  • petting my cat
  • holding my cat
  • burying my face in my cat
  • kissing my cat
  • meowing at my cat

I forgot these vital ones

  • singing songs about my cat to my cat
  • nose booping my cat
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Speculative depictions by Oberon Zell of the Loch Ness Monster as a giant mollusc.  Read the rationale behind the theory.

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it has been awhile





i just realized that people who see visions of jesus don’t become christians because they saw jesus but primarily because of the preexisting cultural christian idea that you don’t argue with/challenge visions

like, jews have a long and established tradition of getting missives directly from G-d and being like “excuse me, the fuck”. if your automatic response to jesus appearing to you is to accept christianity there must be an institutional force at work telling you that’s the inevitable outcome, in addition to whatever genuine religious experience occurs. (and i don’t doubt the validity of those experiences.)

like because of this i used to be afraid that jesus would appear to me and i’d Have To become a christian but in reality i could just be like “hey wanna watch me turn on a faucet” and walk out still a Jew

[Stands on a chair and hits Jesus w/ a broom like I’m in a Tom & Jerry cartoon]

#hey which lesbian traps jesus humanely between a cup and a piece of paper and releases him into the backyard

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Love on the Peacock Express: A Short Mystery MILF Dating Game made for Yuri Jam 2017!

As a private investigator you’ve always been interested in two things: solving mysteries, and kissing hot older women. Now you’re on a train with as many mysteries as there are hot older women. Are you in paradise? Well, that’s going to be up to you.

Choose one of three women to spend time with on the train, each of whom is deeply embroiled her own mystery. Flirt and investigate through dialogue options and observation in order to solve your chosen woman’s mystery and find your way into her heart. Love on the Peacock Express features three possible romance routes, each with two unique endings.

All game proceeds are donated to Planned Parenthood and a Puerto Rican relief organization.








Obviously I want you to take care of your pets and make sure they get food and fresh water on a regular basis, but cats being huge drama queens and screaming hysterically at you and acting like they’re tragic famine victims who haven’t eaten in weeks and are about to drop dead from starvation right mcfuckin now, because you’re 10 minutes late feeding them is always going to be one of the funniest things to me

the cat who lives at the vet clinic i volunteer at was mad yesterday because his dinner was half an hour late due to a busy day. he proceeded to go to all the (empty dw) garbage cans and tried to knock them over and started desperately scavenging for scraps of food because obviously no one loves him or cares about him and if he must eat garbage to survive then so be it

not food related, but one time my cat cried at me for 20 minutes before i worked out that the reason why she was upset was because there was a coat hanger on her favourite cushion

This is absolutely beautiful and changed my life, thank you so much. Please protect her from hangers at all costs

wow. am STORVING and humaines here making joke laugh at cate honger ?!

My cat is a social eater who is not food motivated at all, so I was baffled when I first got him because he didn’t seem to care about food but he would SCREAM at me for hours when I knew his bowl was full. Any time I went to double check that he did indeed have food, he’d book it to the bowl and snarf like his life depended on it, but as soon as I walked away he’d follow me screaming again.

Eventually I figured out that he just wanted a dining companion and was screaming about how we’re a family and families eat together, god damnit! I moved his food bowl under my computer desk and it fixed the problem. But if I’m ever out for more than 12 hours I’ll come home to find him in a passive-aggressive kitty huff because dinner has been ready for hours but he’s been trying to be considerate (unlike some humans) and waiting for me to eat it. 

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A very little known fact: this is how duck cut down trees!

mike those r eagles

this is the wildfire prevention program in oakland

This is how you get to sesame street



ONE OF my favourite things!!! It’s when a cat

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Hello? Little human? Okay I kiss you now.

Fun fact: the cat is checking the baby’s mouth to see if it is still breathing. Were it not breathing, the cat would commence to eat it.



That’s just blatantly untrue. While cats have been known to eat human corpses, it’s generally only when they’re starving and have no other food source.
Seriously, quit demonizing cats.

Nose touches (as you see here) are a cats way of saying hello. It’s a friendly greeting. It’s NOT checking for breath.

Laying on a human (as you see here) is literally cat cuddling. Thats it.

We have literal records of cats going out of their way to save the lives of children from various dangers, from fires, to dog attacks, to choking to death. Its very easy to look up.

The only cases of cats eating their humans, have always been when their human died and it has been several days without the body being found. Amazingly this tends to line up with the cat not being fed and therefore STARVING.

It’s also a common thing among most pet animals too? Like sorry, your dog will do it too. Hell, ever heard of the the Donner Party? Humans aren’t exempt. When faced with survival, you try and survive.


(And I mean, all it takes is a quick google search to figure this out, but no lets spread misinformation about innocent animals?)

If you actually truly believe cats are out to get you, and are cold and not affectionate, or whatever else people use to justify demonizing cats… You need to actually look up cat behavior. Your cat who ‘ignores’ you? More often than not is just respecting your space. Your cat who lashes out? Probably not feeling safe in their environment. Your cat brings you gross things? Trying to look after you.

Cats aren’t dogs. They have a set way of communication, and while they can learn dofferent expressions of affection, it will always be less evident than with dogs (who are particularily malleable to human behavior.) This doesn’t mean they are any less loving or capable of bonds.

All it takes is a quick google search to figure out why your cat does what they do. And literally, no cat intrinsically wants to eat babies.

are you kidding me, cats are super protective of small children. they’ve been known to attack dogs, snakes, alligators and grown-ass men if they thought a child was in danger. a stray cat in russia saved an abandoned baby from hypothermia by cuddling him, alerted people to his presence and tried following the freaking ambulance that took him to the hospital. they are very sweet and patient with babies and there are tons of adorable videos out there to prove it.


“cats are not dogs”

And there’s the rub. People have issues with cats because they’re mad they don’t act like dogs. They are a different animal and they relate and communicate differently. That doesn’t make them worse pets or evil or something.


Cats are good and pure creatures, dammit


November 08 2017







While it’s true that a lot of telemarketers are just folks trying to make ends meet, you still shouldn’t feel bad about hanging up on them in mid-sentence.

Many telemarketers aren’t actually allowed to end a call without making a sale; if they did so voluntarily, they’d be fired. By corporate edict, that call was only ever going to end in one of two ways: with you buying something, or with you hanging up on them. There’s no point trying to end the conversation politely because the script they’re working off of demands that they ignore and obstruct any attempt to do so - and they will be punished for failing to follow it.

You hanging up on them is literally the only way for them to get out of a call that’s not going anywhere, so you might as well get it over with. You’re actually doing them a favour.


This is also an instance of a more general principle: notice when people are weaponizing social norms, and react by refusing to play the game.

Easy mode for this is the people on the street with pamphlets. They’ll weaponize social norms in an attempt to make you stop and talk to them. One script I see, for instance:

ACTIVIST: Hi! Excuse me, are you a student here?

PASSER-BY: –yes, I am.

ACTIVIST: Do you care about the ethical treatment of minorities on campus?

PASSER-BY: ….um, yes, but…

ACTIVIST: Were you aware that 90% of statistics about minorities are made up on the spot to serve as examples in tumblr posts?

PASSER-BY: …no, I wasn’t, but I really have to…

ACTIVIST: Here’s what our organization does to fight that!

…and so forth.

The trick here, of course, is that the first question is one which it’s socially unacceptable to avoid answering. If the activist opens with “would you like to help save a photogenic animal today?” you can say “no thank you.” If they open with “do you care about the whales?” you can grit your teeth and say “nope.”

But how do you respond to “are you a student here”? It’s a yes or no question, to which you definitely know the answer, so you can’t mumble something about not knowing. And it’s not explicitly related to their cause, so you can’t just automatically say “not today thanks.” (If you try either of those, they’ll call you on it – “what, you’re not a student today?”)

Ignoring them, or saying “that’s none of your business” or “leave me alone,” is a violation of social norms, and means you look like a jerk, because they asked a question that’s well within the realm of what’s socially permissible. So if you’re playing by social norms, you have to answer.

And then, once you’ve answered, you’re engaged in conversation with them. It’s an egregious violation of social norms to walk away from a conversation without going through the normal conversation-ending procedures. And they of course will not participate in those. So now you’re trapped, where you would have been free under social norms to walk past someone shouting at you about statistics if you hadn’t yet engaged with them.

The only way to escape these situations is to notice them and step outside the social game. This is hard; you will get intense this-is-awkward, I-am-being-awful-and-mean feedback from your brain, which has noticed you are violating the rules and would like you to stop. But walking away without saying anything, or saying “I don’t want to talk right now,” is in fact the correct thing to do here.

And that’s easy mode. People selling something play this game blatantly. Hard mode is people who play it expertly, within society, so that you have to go along with what they want or be forced into violating social norms. (And people will go along with a lot rather than violate social norms.) Friends who ask you for things in a way that makes it awkward to refuse. Family members who treat you badly but do it in a way contrived so that any complaint will constitute you being rude. In the really extreme cases, the same dynamic shows up in abusive relationships. It’s the adult version of an abuser convincing a kid he’ll get in trouble if he tells his parents.

So this is, IMO, a really important skill to learn and to deploy properly. Social norms are great, I love doing the dance of social convention, it’s lovely and satisfying, but if your partner keeps trying to stab you with a poisoned dagger, maybe it’s time to stop dancing. Even if that looks weird in the middle of the dance floor.

This is something I never thought needed to be broken down before, but once you did it helped make a lot of things clear. Like, I already knew that sales people are pushy and try to rope you into conversations that are difficult to terminate, but describing the reasons why those conversations feel so awkward to leave abruptly was super enlightening.

Well said.

One other reason that people feel uncomfortable breaking social norms is the fear of retaliation. This is one that the face-to-face marketers tend to play on more than the telemarketers.

There’s a reason that chuggers (“charity muggers”) frequently pick on women - female-socialised people find it harder to say “no” and walk away from a social interaction. Some of this may be due to fear of retaliation. Lots of situations in which “a stranger forces you into weird public engagement” can escalate horribly, so it’s often easier to just mumble along with them and contrive an escape. Rejection (of the chugger/catcaller/marketer) is something that sometimes leads to retaliation, so depending on your experiences you might find yourself being afraid to “just walk away.”

I have had two experiences where chuggers caught me in public and reacted badly to my flat rejections. They were both men chugging for Greenpeace, and I actually complained to the organisation about them. Because they’re playing on social norms as well, using aspects of themselves in the marketing performance, they can get waaay too invested and in-character, and treat it as a social/sexual rejection, apparently. One of them actually lost his head and chased me down the street, shouting.

Anyway the best way I found to stop both of them was to stand at bay and scream “STOP HARASSING ME”, which created such public amazement among the other people on the sidewalk that the chuggers had to put their hands up and back away.

With the chasing-guy he sort of did a defeated primal scream and went back to his pitch, presumably having come back to his senses. but the other guy just raised his eyebrows like “hey WOW fair enough” so it worked out okay.

Basically even if there is retaliation, just remember that THEY STARTED IT and THEY MADE IT WEIRD.



I always advise people to take the love language test, and not so much as a means of learning how you need to be loved by a romantic partner but learning how you need to be loved by yourself.

For instance, if your love language is acts of service then doing nice things for yourself could be a form of self-care. Taking yourself out on dates, treating yourself to nice things when possible, and making accommodations for yourself. If your love language is physical touch, this could mean you lean more toward topical or aromatic self-care methods. You may want to buy body butters and lotions and the act of rubbing on your own body could be soothing; lighting candles, incense, or aroma therapy oils in your dwelling areas may also soothe you.

My love language is words of affirmation so of course, that is exactly what I do for myself. I write sticky notes tailored to my current emotional needs during that time and keep them up on my walls for as long as I see necessary. I recite my daily affirmations while I do my skincare routine, or when I’m in the shower.

Discovering your love language can be beneficial in romantic relationships but even more beneficial in your current relationship with yourself.

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dont know why but here it comes~


The thing is - millennials are a generation of the disillusioned. Our parents or grandparents lived in a time when you could buy a house on a year or two’s wages, when you could support a family on a working man’s job, where you could get a job in high school and pay for at least a decent chunk of your college tuition.

And then everything went to shit.

And all that became untenable, but the baby boomers didn’t get the message. They look at kids breaking down from stress and overwork and thinking they’re lazy because “when I was your age…”
And the thing is, with the advent of things like the internet, and instant communication, we have access to the truth at an alarmingly young age.

If you don’t know about inflation, or lowered wages, and your parents tell you that “well we got into college just fine, you just aren’t working hard enough,” you don’t have any option but to believe them.
But with data becoming a public resource, that’s all changed.

We’re realizing that adults aren’t always right.

We’re realizing that things aren’t the way we were promised they are.
So we know, now. We know that the reason that girl broke down crying in homeroom isn’t because she’s a pussy - it’s because she’s working six hours every weekday on top of school, and she just got assigned her third essay of the week. We know that the reason we can’t get into college isn’t because we aren’t putting ourselves out there - it’s because the people who promised they’d provide for us have fucked up the job market and the economy.

So, yeah. Millennials are a generation of disillusioned. Age hasn’t taken away our idealism yet - we’re radical, and stubborn, and slowly realizing that that sixty-year-old white guy condescending us atop a pile of money that was half given to him by his parents and half stolen from us - he doesn’t know jack shit about the way the world works now.

Redditor TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK comments on millennials…

The comments attached to this are profound and deeply upsetting. Millennials are so screwed by a system that Boomers benefitted from (and have rigged against them). Go read the breakdown of minimum wage, and costs for college, including housing and basic living expenses. America has fucked Millennials, and we keep blaming them for the system we refuse to change.

(via flange5)

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Thalia Grace will never stop being a looming Gay Figure in my heart.





can’t believe that in 2017 people don’t realize poor people work harder than rich people 

“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?’”

the class divide by design makes it so the hardest jobs are the ones paid the least: capitalists prey upon the desperation of poor and marginalized groups by ‘graciously’ giving them the hardest jobs of all and with such low wages that makes it almost impossible to escape poverty and get too much social power. this both effectively rids the bourgeoisie of the burden of labor and preserves their ruling place in society.

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Okay but this personality sorting system the ASPCA uses to classify cats so adopters can find a cat that really suits them is SO CUTE. (And so helpful–it prevents cats from being returned to shelter, because people have a better guide to what kind of cat they want than “looks pretty”)

I think my Emily is a Secret Admirer, while Gallagher is an MVP and Isobel is a Party Animal.

Personality types on this webpage or below:

Keep reading


vintage Carmilla fandom things


  • L/Elle/Ell/Eleanor Discourse
  • Is Danny a werewolf?
  • Is Danny Elle?
  • Is the Dean Carmilla’s mother (this question came up earlier for people who’d read the book than those who hadn’t)?
  • H*llence vs. H*llstein 
  • I’m not spelling out either of those because virtual fucking blood was spilled in that ship war and it still hasn’t totally died and I don’t want to arouse the ire of anyone in the tags
  • people stalking Natasha and her mom
  • I’m not sure anyone ever figured out why they stalked her mom
  • One time someone shipped Carmilla/the Dean and tried to hold a Carmilla And Lilita Week for people to make fanworks about them. 
  • Most fans were understandably put off by the idea of shipping someone with her abusive mother figure and nobody contributed except this one person who made us all deeply uncomfortable for a week in the tags
  • Stars and Candles (early name for Hollstein, before the current name solidified)
  • Carmilla’s bangs. that doesn’t seem like a big thing but some people got like personally affronted when Natasha decided to grow her bangs out
  • “See that subscribe button? You should click it.”
  • VerveGirlTV
  • Laura having no fashion sense to speak of and straight hair
  • Perry dressing like a Sunday school teacher. From 1987. 
  • Coming up with names for Laura’s dad
  • “But what if Carmilla’s not a vampire in this version?”
  • Yes, that was an actual theory. I saw it a surprising amount considering it was made clear from almost her first appearance that she was a Massive Vampireface from Vampireland
  • I’ve just realized Tuesgays and Thursgays are becoming a vintage fandom thing and now I’m sad
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Tuesday Tips - With a Twist!
Add some vitality to a pose by twisting parts of the body. A little or a lot. Give it a shot. #Norm
#100tuesdaytips #WithATwist #grizandnorm #arttips #arttutorial




I’ve decided to tell you guys a story about piracy.

I didn’t think I had much to add to the piracy commentary I made yesterday, but after seeing some of the replies to it, I decided it’s time for this story.

Here are a few things we should get clear before I go on:

1) This is a U.S. centered discussion. Not because I value my non U.S. readers any less, but because I am published with a U.S. publisher first, who then sells my rights elsewhere. This means that the fate of my books, good or bad, is largely decided on U.S. turf, through U.S. sales to readers and libraries.

2) This is not a conversation about whether or not artists deserve to get money for art, or whether or not you think I in particular, as a flawed human, deserve money. It is only about how piracy affects a book’s fate at the publishing house. 

3) It is also not a conversation about book prices, or publishing costs, or what is a fair price for art, though it is worthwhile to remember that every copy of a blockbuster sold means that the publishing house can publish new and niche voices. Publishing can’t afford to publish the new and midlist voices without the James Pattersons selling well. 

It is only about two statements that I saw go by: 

1) piracy doesn’t hurt publishing. 

2) someone who pirates the book was never going to buy it anyway, so it’s not a lost sale.

Now, with those statements in mind, here’s the story.

It’s the story of a novel called The Raven King, the fourth installment in a planned four book series. All three of its predecessors hit the bestseller list. Book three, however, faltered in strange ways. The print copies sold just as well as before, landing it on the list, but the e-copies dropped precipitously. 

Now, series are a strange and dangerous thing in publishing. They’re usually games of diminishing returns, for logical reasons: folks buy the first book, like it, maybe buy the second, lose interest. The number of folks who try the first will always be more than the number of folks who make it to the third or fourth. Sometimes this change in numbers is so extreme that publishers cancel the rest of the series, which you may have experienced as a reader — beginning a series only to have the release date of the next book get pushed off and pushed off again before it merely dies quietly in a corner somewhere by the flies.

So I expected to see a sales drop in book three, Blue Lily, Lily Blue, but as my readers are historically evenly split across the formats, I expected it to see the cut balanced across both formats. This was absolutely not true. Where were all the e-readers going? Articles online had headlines like PEOPLE NO LONGER ENJOY READING EBOOKS IT SEEMS.


There was another new phenomenon with Blue Lily, Lily Blue, too — one that started before it was published. Like many novels, it was available to early reviewers and booksellers in advanced form (ARCs: advanced reader copies). Traditionally these have been cheaply printed paperback versions of the book. Recently, e-ARCs have become common, available on locked sites from publishers. 

BLLB’s e-arc escaped the site, made it to the internet, and began circulating busily among fans long before the book had even hit shelves. Piracy is a thing authors have been told to live with, it’s not hurting you, it’s like the mites in your pillow, and so I didn’t think too hard about it until I got that royalty statement with BLLB’s e-sales cut in half. 

Strange, I thought. Particularly as it seemed on the internet and at my booming real-life book tours that interest in the Raven Cycle in general was growing, not shrinking. Meanwhile, floating about in the forums and on Tumblr as a creator, it was not difficult to see fans sharing the pdfs of the books back and forth. For awhile, I paid for a service that went through piracy sites and took down illegal pdfs, but it was pointless. There were too many. And as long as even one was left up, that was all that was needed for sharing. 

I asked my publisher to make sure there were no e-ARCs available of book four, the Raven King, explaining that I felt piracy was a real issue with this series in a way it hadn’t been for any of my others. They replied with the old adage that piracy didn’t really do anything, but yes, they’d make sure there was no e-ARCs if that made me happy. 

Then they told me that they were cutting the print run of The Raven King to less than half of the print run for Blue Lily, Lily Blue. No hard feelings, understand, they told me, it’s just that the sales for Blue Lily didn’t justify printing any more copies. The series was in decline, they were so proud of me, it had 19 starred reviews from pro journals and was the most starred YA series ever written, but that just didn’t equal sales. They still loved me.

This, my friends, is a real world consequence.

This is also where people usually step in and say, but that’s not piracy’s fault. You just said series naturally declined, and you just were a victim of bad marketing or bad covers or readers just actually don’t like you that much.

Hold that thought. 

I was intent on proving that piracy had affected the Raven Cycle, and so I began to work with one of my brothers on a plan. It was impossible to take down every illegal pdf; I’d already seen that. So we were going to do the opposite. We created a pdf of the Raven King. It was the same length as the real book, but it was just the first four chapters over and over again. At the end, my brother wrote a small note about the ways piracy hurt your favorite books. I knew we wouldn’t be able to hold the fort for long — real versions would slowly get passed around by hand through forum messaging — but I told my brother: I want to hold the fort for one week. Enough to prove that a point. Enough to show everyone that this is no longer 2004. This is the smart phone generation, and a pirated book sometimes is a lost sale.

Then, on midnight of my book release, my brother put it up everywhere on every pirate site. He uploaded dozens and dozens and dozens of these pdfs of The Raven King. You couldn’t throw a rock without hitting one of his pdfs. We sailed those epub seas with our own flag shredding the sky.

The effects were instant. The forums and sites exploded with bewildered activity. Fans asked if anyone had managed to find a link to a legit pdf. Dozens of posts appeared saying that since they hadn’t been able to find a pdf, they’d been forced to hit up Amazon and buy the book.

And we sold out of the first printing in two days.

Two days.

I was on tour for it, and the bookstores I went to didn’t have enough copies to sell to people coming, because online orders had emptied the warehouse. My publisher scrambled to print more, and then print more again. Print sales and e-sales became once more evenly matched.

Then the pdfs hit the forums and e-sales sagged and it was business as usual, but it didn’t matter: I’d proven the point. Piracy has consequences.

That’s the end of the story, but there’s an epilogue. I’m now writing three more books set in that world, books that I’m absolutely delighted to be able to write. They’re an absolute blast. My publisher bought this trilogy because the numbers on the previous series supported them buying more books in that world. But the numbers almost didn’t. Because even as I knew I had more readers than ever, on paper, the Raven Cycle was petering out. 

The Ronan trilogy nearly didn’t exist because of piracy. And already I can see in the tags how Tumblr users are talking about how they intend to pirate book one of the new trilogy for any number of reasons, because I am terrible or because they would ‘rather die than pay for a book’. As an author, I can’t stop that. But pirating book one means that publishing cancels book two. This ain’t 2004 anymore. A pirated copy isn’t ‘good advertising’ or ‘great word of mouth’ or ‘not really a lost sale.’

That’s my long piracy story. 

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