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October 05 2017

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All the better to see you with, my dear - Spider eyeball arrangements

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this has been stuck in my head all day but i don’t know what i’m meant to do with it

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Tuesday Tips - Handling Objects — To show a character handling an object, think of merging the hand and object into one simple shape. Think of how you would wrap your fingers around it and how you would use it. Function is key! Norm #100tuesdaytipsvol2 #grizandnorm #handlingobjects #arttips #arttutorial

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Degree of hemeroby of the overall landscape in EU 27 countries, 1996-2005.


Switzerland is just a myth there is nothing but the void there

ditto norway, which is actually a conspiracy theory

(this is a funny joke. the reason these countries are not on this map is because they’re not in the EU)

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How researchers trained their “biped” using ‘deep reinforcement learning.’

“deep reinforcement learning” is a weird euphemism for abusing your polygon boy with boxes

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“Just get in the car, Alice. I’ll explain on the way.”

@soulcount @duskcastle



funny how when a “straight” person finds themselves surrounded by a bunch of gay and lesbian and bisexual friends they often end up realizing they aren’t straight it’s almost like heteronormativity and being surrounded by heteronormativity keeps people in the closet and being in an environment where gay love is more normalized allows people to connect with parts of themselves they otherwise probably wouldn’t be able to

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some good old diakko for ya all






I really think hospitals and doctors that work with pregnancy and pediatricians need to make more literature available for how to, ya know, work with kids?  Because the more conversations we have about spanking (and how it’s ineffective and harmful and does more bad than good), the more I realize that a lot of people don’t know the alternatives. Or like, anything about child development or where misbehavior stems from. 

So, as someone who went through childhood development classes in college, works with kids for a living, and knows multiple people who specialized in childhood education, here are some pointers when you are working with kids:

1. Model emotional response for kids. Children are learning how to recognize and respond to their own emotions. All the way up through high school, children’s brains are still developing, and the emotions they are learning to process become more complex. So with really young kids, the easiest way to help them with this is to model emotional self awareness and self care. 

  • “Oh wow, mommy is feeling angry because the cat made a mess. I’m going to clean this mess and then go sit in my room in the quiet for a short break so I feel better.”
  • “You know, I am feeling very sad about not going to the park because it is raining. I bet some hot chocolate and a book would make me feel better.”
  • ”Huh, I’m feeling kind of cranky and hungry, but daddy won’t be home for dinner for another hour. I bet I’ll feel better if I eat a little piece apple while we wait.” 

2. Understand what causes child frustration and work to preempt it. 

  • -Transitions (from one activity to another, getting in the car, etc) can be stressful, especially if the activity or location they are leaving is fun. Give kids a warning when this is going to happen. With young kids, give them about 5-15 minutes of warning (”10 minutes until we are going to leave the park and go home. Do your last thing.”), with older kids, just give them a time frame. (We are can play at McDonalds for 30 minutes, but then we have to go grocery shopping, ok?) 
  • Not being able to communicate what they want to is frustrating. Babies can learn simplified baby sign language months before they are verbal. Kids may not know the words for what they are trying to say. Be patient and help them find the right words. On a similar note, don’t ignore kids. If you really can’t respond to their question right away because of something else, at least tell the “Yes, I heard your question. I’ll answer you as soon as I’m done talking on the phone.”
  • Not being able to make choices or having too much choice can be overwhelming. Give kids a limited, reasonable selection of choices. “Do you want apple slices or juicy pears on the side for lunch?” is much better than “What do you want with your sandwich?” or just giving them apple slices. “Do you want to give grandpa a hug or a high five?” is better than demanding they hug grandpa right away. 

3. Understand that kids are people to. They will get hungry, tired, an annoyed just like adults do. Sometimes you have to be flexible and give them time to self care. Talk to them, explain things to them, let them be people and not just dolls.  “Because I said so” is really unhelpful for a growing kid. “We can’t buy Fruit Loops today because we are already getting Frosted Flakes. We only need one cereal at a time.” is going to do you a lot more favors. “Don’t pick up the glass snow globe. It belongs to grandma and can break easy. She would be sad if we broke it on accident.” is better than “don’t touch that.” 

And look, no parent is perfect. No baby sitter, no teacher, no care taker is going to be awesome all the time. And no kid is going to be perfect. They will cry and have tantrums, and not be able to tell you what they need, and be stubborn sometimes. Sometimes they need space, or quiet time. Sometimes they need attention and validation. 

But kids learn from every interaction they have, so adults need to make the effort to show all the love, and patience, and empathy, and thoughtfulness we want them to learn. 

This is great, but it still doesn’t explain how to punish a child that has misbehaved. What are ways to make the child learn consequences in a way that doesn’t create more problems?

I think in some level “punishment” is the wrong approach. The goal is to have happy functional children that will become happy functional adults. So after misbehavior, the goal should be to take steps to not repeat that misbehavior again. This depends a lot on the behavior in question, what caused it, the kids age, etc.

Like, a 5 year old melting down in the grocery store because they are bored and tired is “misbehavior”, but what they need is to be removed from the stressful situation and maybe some emotional modeling so they can express their discomfort more appropriately next time.

A 13 year old who has lied about their grades is “misbehaving”, but why are they doing it? Are they truly struggling and embarrassed to tell you? Maybe their punishment is that they need more help on homework or they have to go to tutorials.

A 7 year old who pushes her sister over on the playground and laughed is misbehaving, and she probably needs a time out and to talk about how her actions have hurt others and practice apologizing.

Like, there are lots of ways to address misbehavior that isnt hitting a kid, ya know?

I think a generalization of what I see here is that people are looking for ways to enact negative reinforcement on children as a consequence for the unwanted action (Spanking being a particular, sadistic, form of that), whereas the solutions you’re offering are largely positive reinforcement options to encourage alternative actions.

Negative reinforcement in general isn’t great.  Sure, it can be useful and sometimes necessary, but there are usually ways to use positive reinforcement that will be many times more effective in developing healthy children.




I have a client who communicates exclusively via Microsoft Word.

If she has something to tell me, I’ll receive an email with nothing in the body, but a Word doc attached. That’s where she writes her message.

Whenever she wants to email me a photo, she does so via an empty Word doc with said photo set as its background.

But my favorite thing was the first time I witnessed her visiting a website. She had me spell the URL (“W… W… W… dot…”) and with my own two eyes I watched her type it into Word, made it a hyperlink, and Ctrl click it to go there.

I was so fascinated I didn’t even say anything.

she knows something we dont

October 04 2017

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here’s a fun selection of PA towns for yinz to admire



new hgtv show

kids aged 3-7 design the concept art of their dream houses and then the hosts have to try and make it as true to their ideas as possible, the kids reserve the rights to change their minds about anything at any time


a rant.



So much of TV is way too concerned with being Clever™ right now. There’s this pervasive myth that audiences won’t enjoy a narrative climax unless it’s a total surprise. “Predictable” is always used as a pejorative term when it comes to storytelling, but I think that’s absolute crap, because here’s the thing: 

Unpredictability is not, inherently, a virtue. Unpredictability can mean: a) you don’t have a clear grasp on who your characters are or what direction they’re growing. b) you don’t have a clear vision for the story you’re trying to tell. c) you don’t know how to tell the story (for example, you have a Point A and a Point B but the middle is a bunch of disjointed time-wasting filler. 

“But,” the showrunners cry, “you never saw that twist coming! We kept you on your toes!” That does not make it good. Cleverness is often just smoke and mirrors designed to distract the audience from a lack of substance; it doesn’t guarantee a worthwhile story. I don’t want to be shocked for the sake of surprise - I want to feel like the experience was worth my time.

I want to be introduced to a character, and then I want to be taken on a journey with that character. I want every step of that journey to teach me who they are; what they believe, what they want, what they hate, what they fear, and what they love, so that when they are faced with a conflict or a critical moment of decision, I understand exactly why they do what they do. I’m hoping their choices in that moment will reveal something truthful and powerful and worth knowing about another person’s experience. 

That’s what I want in a story. I genuinely don’t care whether it’s clever or predictable or whatever; I just want a worthwhile journey in which every moment of every episode means something - to the character(s), and to me. That’s what makes serial television satisfying. It has nothing to do with shock or intellect or reinventing the wheel, it’s just about telling the damn story in a way that makes you feel it.

I think a lot of TV show writers don’t understand the difference between “I never saw that coming BUT I SHOULD HAVE OH GOD OF COURSE” and “I never saw that coming, and now that it’s here I don’t see where it came from.”

The former is great; the latter is better avoided in favor of something predictable but coherent.

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Carry me Mercy

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season 2 pidgy!


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Quick everyone grab a pidge!

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Degree of hemeroby of the overall landscape in EU 27 countries, 1996-2005.




admittedly I don’t normally like modern shakespeare adaptations but once I went to see my cousin in a midsummer night’s dream and it opened with a high schooler saying “I don’t wanna read this play” so he sits down and eats an entire chipotle burrito on stage and then immediately falls asleep and the play begins but instead of the forest the faeries all hang out in a rainforest cafe TM and at one point in the middle of a scene the guy from the beginning just slowly drifts across the back of the stage on a skateboard, staring at all the characters as the events of the play transpire in the form of some sort of chipotle-induced coma lucid dream

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